Tuesday, June 03, 2008

Free from Colonialism

I want it back.
My life.
It's mine.
Has always been.
I just never realised it before.
It was held captive for eons.
By those who gave it to me.
By those who bound me with wires called "attachment."
By those who gave me a living to live a life which doesn't seem like mine sometimes.
By those who still eagerly hold a pencil over the map of my life.
Poised to make changes the minute I betray weakness.
To scratch out boundaries that I may transcend.
To contain me.
To keep me.

Today I decided for myself.
Like the rare times I've done before and faced the discord, the coldness, the isolation.
The same reaction thrown in my face.
How naive am I to expect those who control me to accept my mind.
My mind which desires and designs to its own accord.
Plays to its own beat.
And just yearns to kiss the free skies.
I am alone as usual.
In the decision I take.
Why I take it I have reasons for.
It is a difficult one.
But what matters is -
It is mine.


push said...

It is yours, this time and space, here and now..Even if they sit with pencils to rewrite it all, you dip it all in paint and change everything..

Do something for yourself everyday, Whatever makes you happy- it could be a new nail paint, it could be helping someone out, anything, take my word for it..it'll make you smile in your sleep! :P

Ragini said...

I've been playing on the guitar. and I'm happiest then. Learnt 2 new songs - Believer & Sea of Love (Juno). Am in love with music, it makes me blush and my heart dances in my chest when I create it.
Been a little low....tons of things on my mind, sorting a way out through the intricate web. Exhausts me. Troubles me. But I know, at the end of the day, I will survive. And keep playing music :)

push said...

hear 'sea of love' by iggy pop.. its awsm! and i think you'll like jack johnson a lot.dowload some of his stuff..
its really cute~!

Babushka said...

i use the quote that i am about to type, a lot. a lot cuz i know what you're saying. a lot cuz i understand where you're coming from cuz i feel it too.

"...you are a child of the universe, no less than the trees and the stars; you have a right to be here. And whether or not it is clear to you, the universe is unfolding as it should."

gives me a great sense of space, righteousness and capacity. but also says that i'm here cuz people need me and i consequently need people. otherwise we're all just very lonely people. not alone. but lonely.

i like and agree with what push says. :)

Ragini said...

Babs: Thanx for the insight. I loved your quote. It says so much in simple words. I think we all have a circle drawn around us, which is our space in the universe, our essence resides within it, everything lives and breathes within its boundaries. That small pocket of space is us, our individuality, unique in its making and form. And no one can take us away from us.

Ragini said...

Push: I'll check out both. Thanx.

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