Friday, October 05, 2018

Where is the love?

I find myself asking this more often than ever.
We're growing older, presumably wiser.
But are we living or simply surviving one day till the next?
Is this the best we can do for ourselves?

I work hard, I dance hard, I kickbox hard;
Life runs its course, just like the creeper on my terrace,
Reaching into nooks and crannies,
Getting where it has to go.

And all this while, the mountain of love within grows vaster,
Like my own sky inside.
It feels under-utilised, as if not recognised still for what it is.
I give love to my animals - the most deserving of it.
My plants, my family, my friends.
Sometimes, moved by benevolence, even to those who wish me ill.

Most often than not,
My love is misunderstood and played by fragile egos.
But love knows no ego.
It knows no games.
It only knows to love - wholeheartedly.

Why do we place love into boxes?
Why call it "romantic love" or "sexual love" or "platonic love"?
Why this need to ascertain?
Why not simply feel the love, the joy that it brings,
And cradle that memory in your heart forever?

I look around me and I find deceit, self-absorption;
A world that is blindly in love with itself.
And nobody else.

Such a pity.
If only they could lift their eyes to recognise love,
If only they could set aside the fears that grip them,
That keep them from loving.
That keep them from receiving love.

Then they could recall with a smile,
While taking their last breath,
That they had been loved. Truly. By that one person. Called me.

Friday, May 11, 2018

PAIN!

"PAIN!
You made me a, you made me a believer, believer
(Pain, pain)
You break me down, you build me up, believer, believer
(Pain)
Oh let the bullets fly, oh let them rain
My life, my love, my drive, it came from
(Pain)
You made me a, you made me a believer, believer."

Imagine Dragons said it!
Such a coincidence that we're learning a choreography to this song at dance class this month. Bold, sassy, strong and challenging. The song. The moves. The mind.

There is a humongous cloud of pain that follows us around. Look in the corners of your heart and you will find broken pieces glued together disjointedly, some never to unite again. Open the memory box and out come pouring recollections that lull the mind into melancholy and sentiment.

Loss is hard to bear. And there have been so many. The pulling out of the dagger and severing the bonds that tied us, the "Isn't anyone trying to find me? Won't somebody come take me home?" moments. They all run in a cycle. Gain. Loss. Gain. Loss. The impermanence of it all.

You can either fight it, sulk, mope, feel sorry for yourself and eventually die in a gutter.

Or you can take the fire, place it gently into your heart and let it drive you. Let it shape you. After all, what would an earthen pot be if not for the fire?

You are rock solid. You are wild. Nobody can tame you, not even pain. It can make you believe in that inner reserve of strength that grants you super powers, making you invincible and indomitable. Nobody knows the long tunnel of darkness that you have crossed, alone. They will never understand.

However, they will try to break you down, only to hide their own weakness. And when they can't, they will gaze at you with amazement, wondering all the while what special ingredient you are made of.

As you walk away with a grin on your face and a beat in your step - that! That is the exact moment when you befriend it, make peace with it and rule once again.

Rule, thanks to your old buddy - Pain.

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