Saturday, May 24, 2014

Losing my religion

That's me in the corner,
That's me in the spotlight,
Losing my religion,
Trying to keep up with you,
But I don't know if I can do it,
Oh no I've said too much,
I set it up....

I didn't even realise when it happened. Boom! One day it hit me. And then the questions began.
Who am I? What have I become? Is this for me or all for somebody else? Does he even see all this? Does he know? Does he appreciate? 

It's not nice. This place I'm at. A whirlwind in my head. Discomfort in my chest. Legs of lead. Nights devoid of blissful rest. 

It's a sinking boat I tell you. And I sit in it and watch the water gush in, little by little, taking me down bit by bit. I'm uncertain whether I want out. Should I jump into the wild sea and swim to an island? Or should I sit here and wait. To sink. Or will some "magic" save the boat, with one wonderful wave?

I close my eyes and the song plays in my head. Nobody is worth it. Nobody.