Sunday, May 31, 2009

Bandu


Ever bumped into the realisation that people you thought were close friends beg to differ on that one? Ever found out that 'the gang' just met up and you weren't even told? Ever learnt from 'other sources' what was happening in the lives of your 'friends'?

Yes, it happens. I don't know why and I wish I did. Because you're left wondering what you did wrong and how things changed without you ever noticing. You rack your brains anxiously to mark out that word or act that sent the whole house of cards tumbling down. You want to cry because that feeling of being left out is overwhelming. You feel furious and hastily decide not to let yourself care. But care you do....because you thought they were close friends.

It takes time to detach, to reach that delicious level of indifference from where nothing touches you, and you allow yourself that stolen share of serenity. But it takes time. You have to make yourself understand that you just cannot make someone like you or keep liking you. People change and with that, they like a change of friends too. Their criteria and priorities change, they probably don't see you as fun any more. And they'll die before admitting it if you confront them on this issue. They will say, "Nothing's wrong....it's all in your mind....of course you're one of us!" And you want to believe them since you've always believed them.


Friends come, friends go. Only those scrap books you so painstakingly sat and made remain...gathering dust.