Thursday, July 04, 2013

Khoon Chala

"Kuch kar guzarne ko, khoon chala, khoon chala.........
Sawaalon ki ungli, jawaabo ki mutthi, sang leke khoon chala....."


There are days when you want to climb up graciously on your desk, clench your fists, embrace a meanness new to you and yell at the ugly creatures around you, telling them to "***k off!" For all the trauma, for all the distress, for all the injustices done to you, you want to avenge yourself, or whatever is left of it. You want to be angry because it emboldens you; you want to let it control you for once, in contrast to all the times you had to swallow that hot liquid down your throat and sit silent and sullen. 

There so much you want to do on a day like this. Throw things at them, shoot them in the head, slap them, abuse them. And finally feel lighter after having indulged in some childish vengeance. 

Still waiting to see what freedom feels like. Freedom from those ugly faces, rotten inside. Freedom from all that is unpleasant, decaying, nasty, malicious and dishonest. To walk away proudly knowing that you never became one of them. And never would.

Patience is running dry. And auto pilot seems to be having some technical issues from overloading. A straight, stony face is painful after a while, not to mention disturbing especially when you look into the mirror and find someone so metamorphosed. What have they done to you?? Why??

But not for long. Relief shall arrive soon. And then you will fly, mocking those who hurt you and tried hard to convince themselves that you're no good. Then you shall walk out never to look back at that ugliness again.

Sometimes, there is no turning the other cheek.