Wednesday, April 29, 2009

Why women in India shouldn't get married

I could write a book on this. I truly could. But I won't. Because our traditional Indian woman who's an utter idiot will never read anything that might hint at "equality," "common sense" and "rights." She kinda likes the black, silk scarf tied across her eyes, as long as it's silk and not tied too tightly. So heck, what's the use?
But the one thing that brings out the most pathetic side of a traditional Indian woman is 'holy' matrimony. She plunges from bad to super pathetic. She already allowed her whole world to tread on her, now with marriage, a new bunch of people provide a change of footwear marks. She was a 'helpless', 'taken for granted' doormat then, she's a wife/sister-in-law/daughter-in-law/maami/chaachi and the whole list now. And the responsibilities and obligations never end. Suddenly, your husband's home becomes paradise and your parents' - where your nappies were changed, you learnt your ABC and learnt how to feed yourself without spilling - a strange roof. Parents, siblings, old associations - all have to be broken just so that new ones can be formed. Is it worth it? And why does it require distancing yourself from your past to compromise for your future? It makes no sense to me and I say so quite vocally. Strangely, everyone turns around with disapproving faces, shaking heads and a resigned sighs, as if I'm the fool in the picture. I'm the fool? Really? I wonder why.... for believing that a woman's old house is just as important as the one she establishes after marriage? For believing that she belongs as much to her old parents as to her new? For believing that they have equal rights over her? For believing that the woman should not be stopped from taking independent decisions as to where she wants to stay, when she wants to stay and for how long she wants to stay? For all this, I'm a fool? Well, so be it. I'd rather be an independent, reasonable fool than a cloth puppet with one string in everyone's hand. Call me rebellious, call me idealist, call me headstrong, call me feminist. The name doesn't matter. It's what I think that does.

9 comments:

Maryann said...

Ragini I couldn't agree more. Every word id true to the core.

anu said...

FABULOUS RAGS.... love this... i wish otehrs would think the same... women in india cannot continue being so limited in their ways anymore. we need more of such blogs to read.

Ragini said...

It'll be a long time before our Indian women started questioning traditions. Tradition is another name for blind robotic actions.

Push said...

http://blindedblueteddy.blogspot.com/2007/09/sometimes-vicious-husband.html

M said...

Good!! I think we can can be friends!! :-)

Mallika

Freebird said...

Interesting. I have a question though. What is the "expected" role of a husband in this situation or perception?

Ragini said...

M: We can indeed be friends. What's your take on this?

Freebird: As we all know, after marriage, hubby is expected to bring in the big bucks to oil the machinery. He considers it his wife's duty to serve his parents like a slave, and feels free to bitch openly about her parents (especially the MIL). He makes her choose between the two homes and magnanimously gives her permission to visit her parents for a few days. While he should be helping her bridge this gap, he does the opposite. The eternal trial of the married Indian woman.

M said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
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