Wednesday, April 29, 2009

Angry young woman

Oh yes! It takes an external stimulant and I can feel the heat rise from my chest to my head only to vomit out my acidic fire on to another moving being. Sometimes, it doesn't even take an external stimulant to do that. The truth is, there is a lot of anger within. It struggles to find outlets so it can escape from the system but something clogs the holes and it comes out at bad bad times. Oh yes! I've become quite the 'angry young woman' of the present era as opposed to my erstwhile pleasant, smiley, sweet natured self. I'm bitter, irritable, frustrated, exasperated, impatient, snappy, sarcastic, curt, cynical, unforgiving, relentless, extremely critical, mean, immature, rude, petulant and a lot more unpleasant things. I'm so different now that I fail to recognise myself sometimes, and I wonder if I'll ever get back to what I was. What made me like this is unclear and unknown. There could be several factors but nothing that could be a sure winner. Life wouldn't be life if things were that simple.
I am quick to anger and when at the peak, all get the feel of the raging whip. It spares few. And the funny thing is, I detest myself for being like that. It feels like the pleasant side of me is trapped and watching and yelling out to not be such a bitch, but the dark side just doesn't listen. Well, dark sides seldom listen.

5 comments:

Maryann said...

That's who I'm becoming too, for reasons I'm not too sure of. The other day I almost thrashed this sick pervert who tried to get too close as I was walking down Janpath. I'm just bubbling with fury these days, and anyone and everyone from auto drivers to friends are getting a bitter taste of this!

Push said...

Hmmm... why rags? whats up? gonna give you a call today.

Freebird said...

You cannot control the actions or words or deeds of other people, but you can always control the way you respond.

Peace, happiness and enlightenment lies in this space between stimulus and response.

Of course its easy to talk about it but very difficult to implement.

Ragini said...

It's easy to say.
Frightening and worth-worrying is what it is, especially if it happens to a person who was sweet natured, pleasant and jovial. Its understood if the person was born a grouch, but if not, then?

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