Tuesday, May 25, 2010

I hate 'Needing'

It's not good to want and need things. It leaves you very discontented with yourself.
What you already have in your life, starts seeming little and insignificant.
This is not good.
There is so much to complain about!
But why?? I'm now complaining about complaining. How silly I am!

Early morning dragged myself out of bed after a late night of two beers and blaring music.
Got to write. And it's important. This is something I 'need' to do. But this need is alright. It's probably attached to a purpose which is what makes it justified.
What about the other needs but? How do I solve that puzzle. I can live without a lot of things. I've done it before and I can do it again, but it's getting harder with age I presume.

At 18 I was impatient, at 25 I'm anxious.

I wish I could be a Chris Mccandless, wild and free of want and need. He taught himself to live without 'needing', which is why he could detach himself so easily from people and things. He was truly free. But it's a tough one, this situation, where you need, but you don't want to need. You know what I mean? You want to live without but a part of you feels you cannot.

And all that remains is that need. Unfulfilled.


synergy said...

Needing is fine. Greeding is not.

Carnal Buddha said...

Hey, happy to see your posts again after so long. I regard Chris McCandlees as an inspiration and 've seen the movie upteenth times but each time the end makes me so sad. No needs, no wants but what will be my final stop and what exactly do I want (again !) ?

Greesh said...

its almost impossible to need n not greed. to pause thinking and rest that highway traffic in the head. Ragz, I went for Vipassana. Maybe you should try it too.... and for restless minds like ours- 10 days may just not be enough. But yea, you will have to find a way not to giggle when that S.N.Goenka guy starts chants in Pali.

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